Stop Dating the Church, Fall in love with the Family of God

Joshua Harris’ main aim is to challenge the consumerist, self centred, critical attitude so many of us unconsciously, or even deliberately, carry into our local church, which sadly results in many believers (and pastors) giving up on a commitment to a local congregation.

Tamsin Llwyd Graves | March 2012 - Highfields Book of the Month

By Joshua Harris - (2004) Colorado Springs: Multnomah Books

Stop Dating the ChurchInitial confession - it was the small, attractive format of this book which first drew my attention -an A5 sized hardback with large and well spaced font. Then the intriguing title, which seemed a strange combination of relationship guide and church life commentary.

The subtitle 'Fall in love with the Family of God' explains Joshua Harris' agenda better (especially for a non U.S. audience), and a quick flick through the text shows an easy-read mix of Biblical quotes, applications, illustrative anecdotes from his own experience as church member and pastor, and point by point challenges and checklists for the reader.

Joshua Harris’ main aim is to challenge the consumerist, self centred, critical attitude so many of us unconsciously, or even deliberately, carry into our local church,  which sadly results in many believers (and pastors) giving up on a commitment to a local congregation.

Joshua Harris offers a new mindset for discouraged disciples to re-engage with passion and love with their neighbourhood gathering of the Body of Christ – one chapter is subtitled 'Thinking Globally, Loving Locally', another 'Seeing Church from Heaven's Perspective'.

As this is a short book, I get the impression that Joshua Harris deliberately overstates his case to make a point; here are a selection of quotes which could provoke new insight, lively debate or disgusted disagreement(!) -

  • "the church is the only institution God promised to sustain forever"
  • "the local church is the key to spiritual health and growth for a Christian"
  • "a wholehearted relationship with a local church is God’s loving plan for me and for every other follower of Christ"
  • "the one reason God created marriage was to illustrate His love for the Church"
  • "we are more than brothers and sisters in Christ ... we become the physical manifestation of our Saviour on earth"

For anyone who has wondered at times what on earth is God doing in describing us lot gathered together as His bride-to-be, this book provides a summary guide to key verses in the Gospels, Epistles and Revelation which outline God's intention for the "little 'c' church" (local) and the "big 'C' church" (global, eternal).

Joshua Harris outlines 3 distinctive, unique, essential ordinances which, he claims, makes a church a church rather than a Christian group, Bible study, or ministry group. I can identify 2 of these ordinances very easily in our Highfields fellowship, and would expect the third to be practised, but it is not so obvious (you will have to read the book to find out what the 3 are!)

As he is a pastor, I am not surprised that Joshua Harris should describe believers that don’t commit to a local church as 'disobedient', and he bases this on the commandment (is it a commandment or an exhortation, I wonder?) in Hebrews 10:24, 'let us not give up meeting together'!

But when Joshua Harris challenges followers of Jesus to have a God's heart for the church in the same way that they might seek to have God’s heart for the lost, or for the poor, (he quotes Ephesians 5:1 to support this –'Be imitators of God'), I wonder whether this is tending to 'Churchianity' rather than 'Christianity'?!  Hopefully, this is again his overstating of the need for disillusioned disciples to regain a rightful respect and positive expectancy for their local church within God’s plan for the Body of Christ, but surely, it is love for Christ which will overflow in love for His people, rather than vice versa?.

Do read the book (you could do it in one sitting of 2-3 hours) and let me know what you think!

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